Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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