What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
