i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
