there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
