i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
This is my gift to your gina
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
