I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
