Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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