remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
