Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
