I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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