I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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