ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
