How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
