dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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