His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
