Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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