Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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