im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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