Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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