at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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