you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
