Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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