Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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