New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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