Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
