omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
