is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
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Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
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have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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