I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
