So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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