____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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