Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
