NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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