Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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