epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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