So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.