If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO