my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one