considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
