yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
