Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
