It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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