Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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