that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
