You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
