Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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