so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize