I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This baby is an asshole
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
