my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
