it wasn't lemon gatorade
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
