her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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