she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize