moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
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She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
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There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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