I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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