Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It's just like the Real World with babies
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
