I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
