don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize