Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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