i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
