I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize