i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
