Whod you bang
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
