New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize