True but thats because hes a fetus.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
