So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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