Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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