No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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