This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
